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Afghan men are ruggedly handsome, kind and generous, and always interested in meeting new people as their country rebuilds. Afghanistan is both a Muslim and patriarchal society and, as with much of the Muslim world, the family is sacred with extremely close bonds within the family, which can consist of the members of several generations. There is a respect for elders, male or female , a deep reverence for motherhood, an eagerness for children, and a righteous avoidance of divorce.
Right in a big city like New York or Los Angeles? Try Kabul, where it’s considered a crime for a woman to be seen in public with a man she is not engaged, married or related to. The stakes are shockingly high and the reality harsh: most girls born in Afghanistan will be married off as teenagers to men they are either related to or have never met.
If a woman dares to spend time with a man privately, she could end up in jail, charged with the moral crime of “intending to have pre-marital sex. So when year-old Frough Azizi and her boyfriend of two years broke up recently, the heartbreak was all the more bitter because of the risk that went into having the relationship in the first place. The pair had been planning to wed but he left her to marry a woman in his ethnic tribe, she said.
In Afghanistan, the cultural norm is that love should not be a factor in a marriage, let alone the foundation of it. The fact that Azizi had a boyfriend at all is unusual — and the accompanying heartache was actually an extraordinary experience for her. Azizi, an aspiring journalist, is part of a small minority of women in Afghanistan’s capital who are rebelling against tradition and looking for “love marriages.
But finding a decent man is the hardest part — she has to marry someone. If she doesn’t, it will embarrass her entire family, even though they support her in her quest for romance. Time is ticking away, too, because she’s close to reaching the “expiration date” of 26 years old. It doesn’t help that her younger sister is already married.
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In Afghanistan, the cultural norm is that love should not be a factor in a because she’s close to reaching the “expiration date” of 26 years old.
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